You may be aware about some of the trouble that’s recently erupted, here in SA. Tragically, there’s been another wave of attacks and protests against foreigners. As well as this, a couple of high profile femicides have led to a wave of protests against gender based violence. It’s tragic that these horrific rapes and murders took place but it’s a good thing that a lot more people are talking about the issues again, which you may know are such prevalent issues, in the country.
The church that I work for are currently going through a series on these recent eruptions, called #enoughisenough. In the first talk we looked at the topic of violence against women and I felt the Pastor spoke really sensitively and boldly on this issue. I was keen to have the youth in the talk and then we took some time to chat about the talk and the issues, as the boys and the girls in separate groups. I was bowled over with how well the youth engaged and the amazing questions they had. The depth of their engagement was not only really encouraging but also incredibly insightful.
I’m eager to share with you some of the profound things that were raised in our conversation with the youth boys, to give you an insight into the level of engagement. I was pleasantly surprised and perhaps you may be too?
So, I helped to lead the discussion with the group of boys that came on Sunday and I was eager to hear their thoughts on what had just been said in the talk we sat through. We launched straight in by opening up the conversation by asking the boys to raise challenges, thoughts and general ideas that were raised in their mind, from what they had just heard.
For most of the discussion, I was encouraged to experience that my main role was really to simply help facilitate the discussion, as a lot of the boys were quite open to sharing some of their thoughts. So, the conversation began with the opinion being raised about it not seeming fair that all men seemed to receive the label of ‘trash’ and seemingly get blamed and tarred with the same brush. To provide context, for those who are unaware, a movement called #menaretrash has re-emerged recently after high profile rapes and murders have sparked more protests and an outcry on social media.
The point was also raised by some of the guys that all rape is bad and therefore the question was asked about whether the topic being discussed at hand should encompass all those effected by rape – men, women and children. I was pleased that some of our youth were happy to share these views on how they felt but I was even more amazed by the response which followed. One of our youth members responded to both of these comments with a maturity that I felt was way beyond his age.
We all looked on in amazement at the response which followed, which addressed the severity of colonialism, apartheid and poverty playing significant roles and causes in leading to a dysfunctional environment. The idea was presented that this would have shaped mindsets and attitudes in such a profound way leading to the issue which we were exploring being an issue which is predominately one way. It was flagged up that key statistics show that the main issue is violence by men and so often this takes the form of being by men on women but it does of course feature violence by men on men. The point was fleshed out as the person making the point highlighted that addressing the specificity of violence by men against women doesn’t infer that this isn’t an issue amongst women who may also violate men. However, due to the nature of the issue being so one sided it was pointed out that the main issue at hand is violence by men and against women, so therefore it must be addressed and recognised as such.
Following this part of the discussion, I had the opportunity to begin to steer the conversation in a direction about, how as young men, we can live, speak up and use our position of power in society for good…for redistributing power more equally… for the sake of God’s kingdom, reflecting God’s character and living as Godly men in this world.
In thinking about how this may look practically, there was push back by some of the boys about the effectiveness of protests. It was mentioned that despite the value of raising awareness, it would seem that many people in protests may not have thought through a viable solution to take things forward. Consequently, we as leaders encouraged the boys to think about what would work instead…instead of receding into a mindset that could produce inactivity and passivity. The point was raised that we can often be overwhelmed by the enormity of the issue at hand that we probably get overwhelmed to a stage of doing very little or nothing at all. However, the challenge posed was to consider what we can do. If we, as men, play our own part and far more men had that same mentality of taking responsibility, then we could begin to see the story change and the narrative flipped around.
There was a profound question asked about how to confront and challenge abuse in a context where it could be argued that certain behaviour of perceived abuse is really no abuse at all but simply an accepted cultural practice. This could have been talked about for a lot longer than we did – it was such a good question to ask. I wonder how you would begin to answer it?
We also talked about the fact that it’s the heart which ultimately needs changing in the brokenness which we see – the heart of the problem is ultimately the problem of the human heart. That’s how the power of the gospel ultimately transforms, restores, heals, gives hope and leads more people to seek to change…as people saved for good works.
Over the next few Sundays we’ll be looking at violence against children, violence against foreigners and then pressing more into restoration and healing from what’s happened and currently happening.
It’s my prayer that the teens will continue to engage well with these issues and that the chats had won’t fizzle out but be the start of an ongoing conversation about how we can address these issues… and address them in light of the Gospel.
Love and peace,
Adam
Another Brit Abroad 